Aladdin, chinese?.....I sincerely hope not

So here is my glorified piece on Aladdin versus China. I originally wrote this to one Jordan "Gordon" Torbiak as an email response to him. I felt there was no need to change teh story for it is far too perfect, nor do i want to spend more time writing than i absolutely, positively, neccessarily have to. I just want to note that I respect professor horatio hufnagel's opinion. He does bring up valid points, though i have trouble believing that some chinese people would actually name there child a brown name. Cause brown people would sure as hell not name their child a chinese name, like.....do they want to get shot? Num sayin? Anyways, I am a firm believer that Aladdin is from India or that time's "Arabia" (hence Arabian nights) and moved to china when he was a wee baby. And for the other characters with brown names, they must have done the same. Especially the princess, because I'm sure she was beautiful, and teh chinese people can't deny beauty when they see it. Cause they don't see it that often....ohhhhhhhh!!! I'm sorry, I'm racist, but trully I love chinese people, they just can't seem get the concept of holding doors open for other people.

Anyways.....before I appear more racist then I actually am (you should here me talk about natives...) I will copy and paste the email essay.....here it goes....

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Hello Gordon, AKA Jordan, AKA Hummingbird (alluding to a supposably
condescending msn conversation). How is life in the Great White North? By
white, i mean the dominant race, and by that i mean the chinese. I had an
interesting conversation with adam about a related topic once...

We (Adam and I) were discussing the origins of the character Aladdin. In
the first line of the story it says Aladdin is a boy from China. Seeing
this i automatically think that this guy is on crack. Aladdin is not a
chinese name, Aladdin is my real name (whoops i said the loud part quiet and
the quiet part loud) and I am not chinese. Therefore I assumed that the
author meant that Aladdin was born in China, and the story takes place
somewhere else (Aladdin must have moved to Agrabah after being born in
China), near to China however, because in those days china boys could not
get far by foot. Our beloved, though often confused friend, Mr. Horatio
Hufnagel (Adam) believes that Aladdin is chinese. Do you see the dilemna?
If not, please do not read further for your mind will not be able to
comprehend my elaborate discussion below.

So the question is, "Is Aladdin chinese?" I would like you first to
consider the facts and come up with a conclusion for yourself. If you are
unable to do so, hopefully my insight will assist you in your contemplation.

Is Aladdin chinese? Apparently, to Mr. Oofen-oggle he is. But to me,
another question is brought up. What is chinese? When I think of chinese i
think of people who do not show sufficient manners when it comes to proper
sidewalk walking. Other than that, to be chinese is to be a member of the
chinese race, in my opinion. If I was born in China, would people consider
me chinese. I would think (and sincerely hope) not. This justifies the
reasoning that society interprets the chinese, as people of the chinese
race, and not necessarily from that country. Mr. Jeffrey Quon is a member
of that race, and he is considered chinese. He is not from China, and
therefore this example provides another proof to my claim.

Now to counter, Mr. Adam (currently employed at 7-11, after spending 4
months in beautiful Uruguay, a strange justaposition don't you think?) says
that I (me) am Canadian because I was born there. This is true. So
wouldn't that make Aladdin chinese because he was born there? An
interesting point.

But once again back to our dear friend Mr. Quon, he is Canadian and he is
Chinese. Strange, yes? Is it possible that Jeff was born in both China and
Canada? Or perhaps, he and his twin brother were both born at the same time
by identical clones of their mother, in two seperate countires, and were
later recombined in to one small (and i mean small!) package, here in
Canada.

Or possibly Jeff is soo old that he was born back in the day when pangaea
(that's the name of the one supercontinent, back when the continents were
all one) and just happened to be born on the border between Canada and
China. That would explain his freakish knowledge (although mine is
superior, and possibly you think the same of yours as well, but we only
think so, because subconciously we are jealous of his knowledge, though it
is very possible we are still superior to him and we choose not to try as
hard, or at least this is true for me) since he has existed for so long and
has seen all, and grown none.

It is also possible that he is a robot, constructed by his creators Mary and
Dick Quon (supposed parents), and they said he is both chinese and canadian,
some kind of super robot, one might say. This would also explain his
freakish knowledge, for a robot knows no limits to knowledge. This would
also explain his height deficiencies for we all know robots don't grow.
After saying all this I mean no disrespect to Mr. Quon, he just happened to
fit well into my story and was useful in developing my point.

Now, taken altogether, what does this all mean? Well China and Canada are
both nations, right? But a Canadian is undoubtedly considered someone from
Canada, while a Chinese is considered someone from that particular race. If
Aladdin was from Canada and then moved to Agrabah, he would be considered
Canadian. If Aladdin was born in China, he would be considered from China
but not chinese. Its all a matter of context and denotation. In Canada, a
Canadian is not a member of the Canadian race, for their is no Canadian
race. Their is a chinese race, as far as society is concerned. And so
Aladdin is not chinese; he is not a member of the race. He is bad and
brown, and proud of it.

I hope this has been as enlightening for you as it was exciting for me to
write this. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to
contact me at majidiq@hotmail.com. If you ever see someone who has, or know
of people who suffer from the same dilemna, please inform them with your
knew found knowlede of Aladdin vs. China.

Anyways, g'day to you Commissioner Gordon.

Always a pleasure,

~ Majid

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So yeah there's the story, the true story. I hope I have inspired you all to write great works such as this. Oh just a little sidenote: I mention Jeff a lot, and I have nothing against Jeff, cause he be cool. God, I hope he don't read this. Anyways, enjoy my essay and have a good life for the next few days, for i will be unable to post for my compy will be disconnected, and moved to the new internetless house. So I will be without communication for a few days, and tv.....my beloved tv. But if I can survive that, you may just barely be able to survive those days without my wisdom. G'day to y'all, you are forever in my heart.

~ Fresh Prince Ali