Of Bums, Garbagemen hides, and Empires....

Me and Benjiman's (note improper spelling of benjamin) convo, regarding the restructuring of Canada's social structure..................................

MAJID: you there benji

MAJID: ?

BEN: MEESTER IQMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEN: i'm sadly still here

MAJID: ha, loser

BEN: yeah, what've you been doing?

MAJID: i went out

BEN: ooo

MAJID: yeah

BEN: to the big outside?

MAJID: damn right

BEN: that place's too scary

MAJID: it is pretty scary when all you see are skyscrapers

BEN: and homeless ppl

MAJID: no not in this area

MAJID: couple blocks away

BEN: how handy

BEN: i was approached by a homeless man yesterday

MAJID: whats wrong with homeless ppl?

BEN: i gave him a dollar

BEN: first time i ever gave a homeless ppl money

BEN: didn't make me feel any better

MAJID: what?!!! who gives money

MAJID: its their own damn fault

MAJID: they made bad financial decisions

MAJID: now they pay

BEN: a true albertan

BEN: *tear*

MAJID: i don't know why they bum around the uni, cause no kid is gonna give them money

BEN: no shit

MAJID: i would go on yonge street, hundreds of ppl

MAJID: tho they prolly get trampled

MAJID: but tis the price you pay

BEN: i would just live in a dumpster

BEN: and eat out of a dumpster

BEN: and wait forthe dump truck to come

BEN: then i'd mug the garbage man

MAJID: whoa....that's brilliant

BEN: isn't it though?

MAJID: then you would switch places with him

BEN: no

MAJID: he would be the bum

BEN: just switch dumpsters

BEN: and follow the rotation for garbage day

MAJID: what if you mug the same garbage man

MAJID: ?

MAJID: he'll catch on soon enough

BEN: toronto's a big city

BEN: lots of garbage men

MAJID: and tell his garbage buddies about you

BEN: hmm

MAJID: theyre too smart ben

BEN: unless i kill them all

MAJID: better mug the rich one first, and then get out of there

BEN: then they can't talk, and they get replaced by fresh garbage men

MAJID: where would you throw the body?

BEN: ...

BEN: that's the most retarded question ever

MAJID: you can't throw it in your home, you'd feel guilt forever

BEN: lol

MAJID: just dress them up as bums, and lay them on the street

MAJID: no one will notice

BEN: that's true brilliance

MAJID: or carry them around in your shopping cart, till you can find a better location

MAJID: all bums have shopping carts

BEN: unless they live in dumpsters

BEN: then you pretty much live in a giant shopping cart

MAJID: but you can't wheel it around

MAJID: and then you can't wheel bodies around

BEN: i could kill a bum and take HIS shopping cart

MAJID: you could eat the bodies......hmmmm

MAJID: as food

MAJID: and then use their clothes as your own.....

BEN: but then you wouldn't look like a bum anymore

MAJID: and then create a tent out in the desert from their hides

BEN: you need to blend in to ambush the garbagemen

BEN: the desert right beside toronto?

MAJID: close enough

MAJID: desert, wetlands, same thing

MAJID: neither of them have ducks

BEN: ...

BEN: wetlands don't have ducks?

MAJID: they are dead

BEN: maybe if you fill them with dead bodies...

MAJID: or feed teh bodies to the ducks

MAJID: thus helping the environment

MAJID: and increasing duck population

MAJID: and increasing your food supply

MAJID: cause you eat ducks

BEN: ducks do taste better than people

MAJID: maybe

BEN: however, when eating out of a dumpster you can't be too picky

MAJID: or you could just steal from grocery stores, and not kill ppl

MAJID: and then rob seven elevens

BEN: not nearly as cool as killing garbagemen and building a palace in the wetlands out of their collective hides

BEN: it's more original

MAJID: yeah, but i don't think bums have the sewing skills

BEN: i would

BEN: actually...

MAJID: you need to go to uni for that

BEN: i've never sewed in my life

BEN: but i'd learn dammit

MAJID: i don't think bums have this macgyver-like prowess that you possess

BEN: that's why i'd stand out

BEN: become the king of the bums

BEN: in my palace

MAJID: of hides

BEN: of garbagemen

MAJID: interesting

BEN: truly an inspirational story to all

MAJID: then you can expand your empire

MAJID: into new enterprises

MAJID: you could run the town

BEN: become the new mob...

BEN: a mob of bums

BEN: i'd rather create my own suburb

MAJID: scarborough has a lot of bums, you can go there

BEN: nah, i'd rather start fresh

BEN: dammit majid

MAJID: i don't think that would be too economical

BEN: attracting bums?

MAJID: no creating a new suburb

BEN: oh

MAJID: it'll be too far to commute

BEN: i guess

BEN: that would be a problem

MAJID: gas prices are soaring

BEN: unless i built a fleet of mobile dumpsters

MAJID: and then traffic

BEN: pulled by bums

MAJID: hmmmm

BEN: no one's gonna hit a dumpster

MAJID: but they would hit bums

MAJID: they need some kind of protection

BEN: hmm

BEN: bums are fairly expendable though

MAJID: true, plus you could use their skin to build more housing

BEN: lol

BEN: clever

MAJID: bums that recycle

BEN: the trick is to not value human life whatsoever

MAJID: which goes back to why you shouldn't give money to bums

BEN: just kill them?

MAJID: just let them go on with their lives in peace

BEN: perhaps

BEN: i've truly learned something today

MAJID: haven't we all

MAJID: this was quite the enlightening discussion

MAJID: i'll get nigel to post it on his blog....

BEN: yeah

BEN: i actually saved it

MAJID: i wouldn't feel bad, i was thinking t was save worthy

BEN: and now it must end

BEN: as i am going to go eat some pork roast

MAJID: i shall eat george forman hamburgers

BEN: good day then

MAJID: good day

..............................You should feel ten times smarter now