P dot in the T dot (Volume 3)

This post has been long overdue, but i will try to recall my adventures in TO...

Yeah i want to keep this short, so I can start commenting on present-day adventures in TO. So....

We made it to the apartment building, and got the keys. We had to take the truck to the back, and use the service elevator. We booked it earlier, but we were far too late, because of uhaul, and so right after we parked the truck, we had to move it for a bigger truck came in. So we parked it to the side, and went to go see the room.

5th floor of a 23 floor building, and i didn't think man could build such large structures. But then i see millions of bigger buildings around it. But anyways, the apartment was much smaller than our kingston one, but the quality was much better. WE had a big living room back in ktown, but the walls were slanted and we couldn't arrange anything properly, and so it looked empty. But in this apartment, everything fit fairly well. Its quite cozy, and it has A/C *drool* which is very necessary, cause TO is F-in hot.

We later would move the stuff in, obviously, and then return the truck with less gas, but who cares, its UHAUL!

So that's me getting settled into TO.

Sorry i haven't posted in a while, but i've been quite busy lately.

Good day.

~ P to the dot

Of Bums, Garbagemen hides, and Empires....

Me and Benjiman's (note improper spelling of benjamin) convo, regarding the restructuring of Canada's social structure..................................

MAJID: you there benji

MAJID: ?

BEN: MEESTER IQMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEN: i'm sadly still here

MAJID: ha, loser

BEN: yeah, what've you been doing?

MAJID: i went out

BEN: ooo

MAJID: yeah

BEN: to the big outside?

MAJID: damn right

BEN: that place's too scary

MAJID: it is pretty scary when all you see are skyscrapers

BEN: and homeless ppl

MAJID: no not in this area

MAJID: couple blocks away

BEN: how handy

BEN: i was approached by a homeless man yesterday

MAJID: whats wrong with homeless ppl?

BEN: i gave him a dollar

BEN: first time i ever gave a homeless ppl money

BEN: didn't make me feel any better

MAJID: what?!!! who gives money

MAJID: its their own damn fault

MAJID: they made bad financial decisions

MAJID: now they pay

BEN: a true albertan

BEN: *tear*

MAJID: i don't know why they bum around the uni, cause no kid is gonna give them money

BEN: no shit

MAJID: i would go on yonge street, hundreds of ppl

MAJID: tho they prolly get trampled

MAJID: but tis the price you pay

BEN: i would just live in a dumpster

BEN: and eat out of a dumpster

BEN: and wait forthe dump truck to come

BEN: then i'd mug the garbage man

MAJID: whoa....that's brilliant

BEN: isn't it though?

MAJID: then you would switch places with him

BEN: no

MAJID: he would be the bum

BEN: just switch dumpsters

BEN: and follow the rotation for garbage day

MAJID: what if you mug the same garbage man

MAJID: ?

MAJID: he'll catch on soon enough

BEN: toronto's a big city

BEN: lots of garbage men

MAJID: and tell his garbage buddies about you

BEN: hmm

MAJID: theyre too smart ben

BEN: unless i kill them all

MAJID: better mug the rich one first, and then get out of there

BEN: then they can't talk, and they get replaced by fresh garbage men

MAJID: where would you throw the body?

BEN: ...

BEN: that's the most retarded question ever

MAJID: you can't throw it in your home, you'd feel guilt forever

BEN: lol

MAJID: just dress them up as bums, and lay them on the street

MAJID: no one will notice

BEN: that's true brilliance

MAJID: or carry them around in your shopping cart, till you can find a better location

MAJID: all bums have shopping carts

BEN: unless they live in dumpsters

BEN: then you pretty much live in a giant shopping cart

MAJID: but you can't wheel it around

MAJID: and then you can't wheel bodies around

BEN: i could kill a bum and take HIS shopping cart

MAJID: you could eat the bodies......hmmmm

MAJID: as food

MAJID: and then use their clothes as your own.....

BEN: but then you wouldn't look like a bum anymore

MAJID: and then create a tent out in the desert from their hides

BEN: you need to blend in to ambush the garbagemen

BEN: the desert right beside toronto?

MAJID: close enough

MAJID: desert, wetlands, same thing

MAJID: neither of them have ducks

BEN: ...

BEN: wetlands don't have ducks?

MAJID: they are dead

BEN: maybe if you fill them with dead bodies...

MAJID: or feed teh bodies to the ducks

MAJID: thus helping the environment

MAJID: and increasing duck population

MAJID: and increasing your food supply

MAJID: cause you eat ducks

BEN: ducks do taste better than people

MAJID: maybe

BEN: however, when eating out of a dumpster you can't be too picky

MAJID: or you could just steal from grocery stores, and not kill ppl

MAJID: and then rob seven elevens

BEN: not nearly as cool as killing garbagemen and building a palace in the wetlands out of their collective hides

BEN: it's more original

MAJID: yeah, but i don't think bums have the sewing skills

BEN: i would

BEN: actually...

MAJID: you need to go to uni for that

BEN: i've never sewed in my life

BEN: but i'd learn dammit

MAJID: i don't think bums have this macgyver-like prowess that you possess

BEN: that's why i'd stand out

BEN: become the king of the bums

BEN: in my palace

MAJID: of hides

BEN: of garbagemen

MAJID: interesting

BEN: truly an inspirational story to all

MAJID: then you can expand your empire

MAJID: into new enterprises

MAJID: you could run the town

BEN: become the new mob...

BEN: a mob of bums

BEN: i'd rather create my own suburb

MAJID: scarborough has a lot of bums, you can go there

BEN: nah, i'd rather start fresh

BEN: dammit majid

MAJID: i don't think that would be too economical

BEN: attracting bums?

MAJID: no creating a new suburb

BEN: oh

MAJID: it'll be too far to commute

BEN: i guess

BEN: that would be a problem

MAJID: gas prices are soaring

BEN: unless i built a fleet of mobile dumpsters

MAJID: and then traffic

BEN: pulled by bums

MAJID: hmmmm

BEN: no one's gonna hit a dumpster

MAJID: but they would hit bums

MAJID: they need some kind of protection

BEN: hmm

BEN: bums are fairly expendable though

MAJID: true, plus you could use their skin to build more housing

BEN: lol

BEN: clever

MAJID: bums that recycle

BEN: the trick is to not value human life whatsoever

MAJID: which goes back to why you shouldn't give money to bums

BEN: just kill them?

MAJID: just let them go on with their lives in peace

BEN: perhaps

BEN: i've truly learned something today

MAJID: haven't we all

MAJID: this was quite the enlightening discussion

MAJID: i'll get nigel to post it on his blog....

BEN: yeah

BEN: i actually saved it

MAJID: i wouldn't feel bad, i was thinking t was save worthy

BEN: and now it must end

BEN: as i am going to go eat some pork roast

MAJID: i shall eat george forman hamburgers

BEN: good day then

MAJID: good day

..............................You should feel ten times smarter now

OPTIMUS!!!

look at my profile pic. Optimus Prime is my hero. Megatron said he could beat him with his bare hands. But Megatron needed a gun. But Optimus still got up for one last "NEVER!!!" and double-armed swung Megatron off of Autobot City before he died. And he never had to use a gun....................that's the sign of a hero...............an idiot, but my hero............
~ Optimus Prince

PS) I have a lot of heroes......

PPS) MEGATRON!!!

Prince Ali, Astronaut?

I was looking at how to become an astronaut, on NASA, and it doesn't really tell you details and stuff, but it says you need a science degree and be strong in math first. I think they want you to undergraduate at one of the NASA sponsored unis in the US, but maybe i'll do graduate studies there or something. It would be a dream come true to be an astronaut. Who don't want to go into space? Maybe one day you'll see me heading a mission on the Explorer, and then some foam will fly at as we ascend, and we blow up as we enter space. But who cares?!! As long as we exited the atmosphere, and saw the pure blackness of space, i would die happy. Perhaps one day.....we can only hope.


~ Señor Prinso Ali Albérto, the Astronaut

P dot in the T dot (Volume 2)

So there we are driving down the good old 401. Ain't so bad. It starts as a 2 laner (4 lanes in all) and its a pretty easy drive. Normally when driving with a big ass uhaul, and poorly compartmentalized boxes, you'd want to drive slow, and in the right lane. But we were both tired, and my brother who was driving, could only stay awake if he went 140 k's per the hour.

We had to fill up the tank before we left kingston, and of course that was the day the gas prices soared to $1.25 (Damn you hurricane......damn you) and so we filled 80 litres, for a hundred loonies. The tank prolly could have taken 3 times that amount, but we thought we'd risk it. Oh btw, U-hauls are not fuel efficient, contrary to what is said on their dashboards.

So we are driving. This highway ain't so bad, it eventually turns into a 3 laner. I was supposed to be the navigator, but i kept dozing off, i had no sleep, and that's not too good all the time. I actually saw Umar, for one brief moment, close his eyes for an extended period of time, only to open to the sound of my yelling. We needed to stop.

So we stopped to get iced capps, and that sort of helped. As we approach the burbs of TO, like Oshawa, and Scarborough, the highway gets a wee bit bigger, and more congested. But i've seen such things before. But then when you see the "Toronto - Estimated pop. 2.6 million" sign, these two lanes pop out of nowhere. So its now 6 lanes on eash side. And then theres this divider, and i guess some other highway connects to the 401 from teh north, and produces 3 extra lanes. so nine lanes on both sides now. All crazy busy. Cause its rush hour (DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!.......best movie ever, right adam?). We had no choice but to come during rush hour, cause of damn uhaul, so what could you do.

Exits were all on the right, on the other side of teh divider.....here i'll draw a picture:

****I tried the picture, it don't work, cause when i publish it thinks the symbols are html, and so i'm not even gonna try to fix it****

So we be on the left side, and so we had to make our way slowly to the right. you have to pass the first divider, and then merge and quickly cut through the other lanes to get into the exit. And i guess if you live in Toronto, you start hating life, cause all you do is drive, and so you stop caring about ppl, and you become assholish, and when they are desperate to get into your lane, you speed up and drive beside them so they can't. I know this happens in every city, but not quite to this extent. Not only do they stay beside you, they look at you, and stare you down, as you are to blame for the crazy traffic.

Anyways, long story short, we miss our exit, cause we can't get in, cause ppl just aren't afraid of a uhaul cutting them off. But we make the next exit, and i have to renavigate our route. For some my brother makes like 3 right turns, when you are supposed to just make one, and we end up going the worng way. I being quick-witted, noticed the street names going the wrong way, and so i get us going the right way. We find Avenue road. Drive south. Get to Bloor. Make a few turns, and we are there. The skyrise. My new home.

Just a lil aside......Why the hell do you Ontarians use street names?!!! Its so retarded!!! Like what first-timer would know where the hell yonge street is in relation to his lost-ass? Numbers ppl, numbers. They answer everything. And then you have the address prolem. Where the hell is 455 bloor st.? Bloor street goes across all of TO, so where is 455? See back home, if you were 2238 26th Avenue south, you would know you were on 22nd street. You see the first 2 numbers tell you the street. Its so much better.

Anyways, i got to Toronto, but i have yet (at this particular point in time) to enter my apartment building. What did it look like?

Find out next time, on "P dot in the T dot". Same bat time, same bat channel.

P dot in the T dot (Volume 1)

Honestly i don't know where t-dot came from, or why ppl say it. But i shall call myself P-dot, cause it rhymes, and my name is the prince. Well just for future notice, i'll be adding a special series of post called "P dot in the T dot". It will be about my adventures in the big city of toronto.

I'll give you a little taste first, i won't tell you everything that happened to me my first few days here, for i do not want to write for too long. I will start my story off in kingston, right before the big move. It may not be very t-dotish but who cares, its my blog.

So anyways, the whole week in kingston i cleaned th place and stuff, pretty good. I used my good friend Mr. Clean, because there is nothing Mr. clean can't do. Mildew in the bath tub.....mr. clean. marks on the floor.....mr. clean. stain on the carpet......mr.clean its ass. Out of milk......mr. clean will do the trick. Mr. Clean is my hero. Him and Pete Sampras. Anyways on the inspection day the guy spent like two seconds looking at it, and said it was fine. I spent all this time cleaning baseboards, and window sills, and the oven (and burned myself), and the tub, and vacuuming, and this guy walks in and out in like twenty seconds. Never once looking at my beautiful work. I was sad. Turns out in ontario, you don't pay a damage deposit, and so you won't get charged if your place looks like crap. i could have literally left crap on the floor and they would not care (not to say i didn't...). But anyways, the moral is, if you live in ontario, feel free to leave defecation anywhere, cause the landlords are retarded. coincidentally adam, plane tickets to ontario are cheap now.

So yeah, we were told awhile ago that we could leave the morning of the 1st, but they call us two days before and tell us to move out 3:00 on the 31st. We couldn't move in to TO, till the 1st. This was a prolem. So where do we stay? We were supposed to get teh uhaul on teh 31st, but they suck, just like telus. We waited all day, but they had not truck for us, those bastards. And so we had no place to put our stuff nor ourselves.

Teh goddamn landlords lied, and said they needed to steam clean on teh 31st, but they never showed. And so we took a big risk, and stayed teh night in teh apartment. That's illegal btw, but whatcha ya gon do? We had everything packed, cept we kept some mattresses to sleep on. we woke up at 5 am, and moved all the stuff outside on to the ground, infront of the apartment. We still had no truck, and all our stuff was on the dirt, and it was rainy the last few days cause of the hurricane. Luckily it was not raining at that moment.

So we went to u haul, the main station, 20 dollar taxi. And we got in the line of like ten ppl. One guy was working the till, and he was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slow. he literally took 20 minutes per customer. and so we were in line for 2 hours. We get to the front and what does he say? "I'm sorry we have nothing available". WTF!!! Anger started to flicker inside me, but i kept cool. He gave away like four trucks before us, to the ppl ahead of us, and then like four more after we got out of line, which didn't make sense. And there were like 20 trucks still outside. Anyways, my bro was like, "we're gonna wait here till we get a truck. And for 3 hours, we waited, sitting on a boxes.

Finally we get the truck, at a tremendous discount.......5% off. We took it though, what the hell else could we do. WE drove teh big ass truck back to the apartment, it was now 1:00 in the afternoon. i did not sleep the night before, and i was very tired. We packed all the shit in the truck, which was remarkably still there, and in good condition, cept for a goddamn squirrel got into one of the food boxes. Nobody eats my crackers.......nobody.

We packed all the stuff fast, cause we needed to get to our apartment before 4:30, so that we could get our keys........

What happens next? Find out next time, on "P dot in tht T dot". Same bat time, same bat channel.

My whereabouts

don't worry i'm not dead, contrary to what the Toronto Star published.

~ P dot